Magnar Åm: aching hard, aching soft (From the Emanuel Vigeland Museum) Geir Inge Lotsberg, Violin

Recorded 27. October 2004 by Audun Strype.

Magnar Åm: aching hard, aching soft (concerto for violin and infinitelyresponding space)
Yes, living can be somewhat painful. You feel as though you have beenflung into a room that is surrounded by forget fulness: What was it I was supposed to be doing here? You are drawn into a vortex ofthoughts, hopes, actions and consequences that move so quickly that you can’t manage to maintain abroad perspective. Naturally the consequences are not only painful; of course life is also beautiful and tender.

But the painful feeling of being shutout lasts and lasts.
But – shut out from what?
Then do I have a memory, after all, of another, more profound reality?
A vision of a sense of unity behind itall? Because if that did not exist, we would not have the feeling that we had lost it, would we?

When contemplating questions such as these, a type of life and a type of music spring up that are characterised by the tension between two elements: at one level, the feeling of being denied access to one’s real sources and goals, and at another, the feeling of being carefully tended and included by that same source. Loneliness wrestling with loving cohesion. But music and life naively gamble that loneliness is a temporary thing, while the inclusive power of love has always shimmered, and always will, at the bottom of everything.
MAGNAR ÅM